“Pakistanis will sell their mothers for a dollar”, remarked an American prosecutor about Pakistani officials who had allegedly played an important role in capturing Aimal Kansi, wanted in the USA for killing two CIA officials outside the Agency’s headquarters in Langley, Virginia. God forgives easily, men seldom do. This Johnny later apologized to Pakistanis but his insult was neither forgiven nor forgotten.
Flash forward to 2010.
‘Breast milk ice cream seized in London amid health and safety complaints’, read a recent news headline—it was bust-breaking news for Londoners.
Meet the maker
At the centre of the controversy was an ice-cream salon called The Icecreamists in London’s Covent Garden, which generated news headlines around the world with the debut of its ‘Baby Gaga’ vanilla and lemon-scented dessert mixed with human breast milk. It would be fair to assume that mostly those deprived of mother’s milk during infancy and fed instead with synthetic infant formulae flocked to empty the salon’s freezers within hours of the creamy launch. The makers commanded £14 for its ‘organic, all-natural’ product in a martini glass accompanied by a bottle of breast milk cocktail.
While love-starved motherless consumers insisted that the ice-cream was ‘natural, organic, and free range’, it was feared that important British leaders, with strict mothers at home, might get addicted to the unheard of milky delight and overnight turn into babbling babes to begin speaking in forked tongues in the cradle of civilization: the oily East.
London’s health authorities launched a tit for tat operation and, unable to arrest the milk-selling mothers, promptly tested the ice cream’s fitness for human consumption and then confiscated the entire ‘unsafe’ supply. Matt O'Connor, the founder and owner of The Icecreamists, never gave up clamouring that the product was ‘made using milk from as many as fifteen mothers who donated by responding to online advertisements.’ One wonders what Matt’s own mother has to say on the topic.
Considering that The Icecreamists obtained no guidance from Britain's Food Standards Agency, the Westminster City Council paid serious attention to complaints from the public over whether selling edibles made from other people's body fluids was illegal. Nevertheless, critics of the government reaction pointed out that ‘no law prohibited a business from selling breast milk ice cream’.
One can swallow pride, chew insults and tolerate illegal detention but to issue oneself a license to thrill with human milk is inexcusable. Why must virtues such as good sense, perfect English manners, and righteousness drown in River Thames?
The man behind The Icecreamists insisted, “Our products met the highest and safest of food standards and we welcomed the huge response to our fresh take on the world of ice cream. Baby Gaga ice-cream sold out as soon as it was launched and women who had signed with us were eager to donate more milk’.
The choice of the Baby Gaga name attracted the wrath of popular superstar Lady Gaga’s lawyers who objected to using the singer’s name and look-alike blonde waitress in a tight, sparkling outfit. The lawyers asked the shop’s owner to behave and recall the character-building lectures he received at school.
Mama Mummia, here we go again
Spare me some moments to read directly from history about cannibalism. As far back as 1000 AD, the crusading Europeans had Egyptian mummies burned, ground up, and turned into powder in order to eat it to cure bruises, coughs, epilepsy, migraines, ulcers, and cases of poison. Up until 1900, the dead remains of black people were considered magical potions and the adepts in churches were regularly given mummy powder (‘mummia’) as medicine. The English King Charles II (1630-1685) rubbed mummy powder on his skin, thinking he would turn into a ‘Pharaoh’. Many wanted terrorists, such as Bush and Blair, since then have rubbed viler things on themselves without ever turning into Pharaohs.
There was a time when the chaplain to Queen Catherine de Medici of France specially travelled to Egypt in 1549 and, with physicians from Italy by her side, broke into numerous tombs to hunt down the dead. The queen’s father-in-law, King Francis I of France, always carried an emergency supply of powdered mummy in a pouch around his waist.
Without doubt, such unkind consumption of dead Pharaohs in powder form permanently damaged the brains of the colonialists (British, French, Portuguese, Dutch, Italian and now American) because they sailed to the four corners of the globe expecting the natives to jump into their beds of broken promises and treacherous enslavement through economic subjugation and cultural destruction.
Serious research about mummia consuming colonialists’ descendants will reveal that they are alive and kicking in the shape of present-day ruling families who dream of mummified masses. It does not make a rusted Penny’s worth of a difference to the ex-colonies if the current Queen of England remains on the throne for sixty more years; with Egypt’s Hosni Mubarak removed from office, she just might be sitting on a mountain of mummia.
The ‘Arab Spring’ might be more about the European supply of mummia running out than spread of demon-crazy. The European acts of cannibalism now have a new face: extraction of ice cream from desperately willing mothers. With a near-zero population growth rate, in future what else will the European Union export to the world except for mothers’ milk? Moreover, de-population in Africa still goes on through manufactured famines and viruses created in secret laboratories and called ‘elimination of poverty’ in clandestine gatherings.
Unholy acts in the holy land in the name of Christ
In 1098 AD, with mummia consumption at its peak, during the first crusade the Knights Templar laid siege to a town called Ma’arrat al-Numan where they killed 20,000 inhabitants, and then roasted to consume the remains of Saracens, Turks and their dogs. Historians Rudolph of Caen, Albert of Aix and Fulcher of Chartres minutely noted the deviltry of the hungry crusaders. As terror gripped the entire region, people wondered how Christian knights who had come to accompany pilgrims to the holy land misunderstood The Bible’s chapter John 6 (verses 52 through 56) as a license to cannibalize.
|Crusaders throw down heads|
Elsewhere on the globe
Although nobody is out stealing mummies from the pyramids these days, ice cream salons in the ‘civilized world’ are coercing children’s mummies into selling their excess produce. We live in times when Muslim inmates in Iraqi jails are paraded naked and have their photographs taken by female American soldiers, dead Afghan fighters have their thumbs cut off by NATO warriors as souvenirs for ‘the folks back home’ and then urinated upon as ultimate revenge. These days, dead men do tell tales through YouTube videos.
The London Olympics of 2012 are just around the corner and the last thing Londoners would desire is derision of their strange eating habits, which seem to have strayed far from plain old fish and chips. Recent history proves it is not the first time restaurateurs have insulted mothers by using their milk as a major ingredient in food. Chef Daniel Angerer of Klee Brasserie in New York also used his wife's milk to make cheese for his restaurant. The cheese appeared on a canapé with figs and Hungarian pepper. This was shortly before September 2001, and because a few Arab infants wanted that motherly cheese too, 9/11 happened.
Israel’s wildest wet dream came true when a few ‘Arab’ infants smitten with love for Hollywood’s waywardness, and craving for demon-crazy instead of benevolent dictatorships were stricken blind with free-dumb of ex-pression. The American commander-in-chief, George W. Bush, received miraculous flashes of events as they unfolded. He continued to read a story to school children while the ‘Arabs’ brought down the Twin Breasts, stole a Global Hawk spy plane which caused a missile to chase it into the unzipped fly of the Pants-are-Gone Building scheduled for renovation, and took the passengers riding the fourth missile some place other than Disneyland.
They allowed Pearl Harbour to happen in order to perform the death experiment of atomic radiation on the yellow man instead of white Christian Hitler. As millions on this side of the fence continue to be ritually sacrificed by the Satanists ruling this world, the American people are slowly beginning to wake up to the fact that the truth is now destined to free everyone—unless some buy the world view sold by Langley, Virginia.
Seriously peaceful view
In the east, we take our mothers most seriously and do not stoop to Hollywood lows by producing films with titles like Throw Momma From The Train. Such is the importance, sanctity and bond of mother’s milk in Islam that anyone who drinks a woman’s milk, when less than two years of age, is considered her son or daughter. A sister is often called humsheera (hum: companion of, sheera: milk). Moreover, mothers often threaten erring sons with a rebuke, which translates, ‘I will not allow you to be blessed with my milk on resurrection day’ (meaning, ‘I will disown you and not plead before my Lord for your forgiveness’).
|Matt and the waitress|
In conclusion, selling ice cream made out of mothers’ milk is an affront to motherhood, milk terrorism, enslavement of free-for-babies breasts, starvation of deserving infants, and oppression of women in the west. This must stop.
Last call for ice cream
‘Civilized societies’ may have their sperm donors who fight legal battles over claims of motherhood or fatherhood, and they may also have their fully grown persons act like infants and bother donor mothers for human milk consumption long after the need to have it has ceased. We—if this is the standard of civility—are better off uncivilized.
With our judiciary’s impotency almost cured, we might hear a Pakistani Attorney General stand erect to remark ‘the British milk their mothers to sell ice-cream by the Pound to the general public’. Of course, he too like the American Johnny will quickly apologize once they burn in protest—as part of the 2012 Olympics’ opening event—our beloved President’s effigy on London Bridge before it falls down with the sound of an entrapped Muslim singing a famous nursery rhyme.
©Tahir Gul Hasan, 2012